Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Repost: Highly Secretive Virginia Democratic Bloggers' Association denies that it exists

In a press conference held earlier today in Richmond, Virginia, the Highly Secretive Virginia Democratic Bloggers' Association, or "HSVDBA," denied its very existence to reporters.

"We categorically deny our existence," said the masked and caped representative of the Highly Secretive Virginia Democratic Bloggers' Association, "or 'HSVDBA' as we don't prefer to call our non-existent organization."

The press conference was called by the non-existent HSVDBA to answer months of speculation about whether there was a Democratic equivalent of the oft-ridiculed Republican Old Dominion Bloggers' Association, or "ODBA." The ODBA exerts considerable peer-pressure to control the repetitive and tiresome messaging employed by the unsuccessful Republican organization. The ODBA communicates its "secret" initiatives via some form of message board protected by security that can be penetrated by any eight-year with a hi-speed modem. The ODBA also apparently includes at least one "mole" or double agent who shares confidential communications with non-members.

"Our non-existent organization has not penetrated their lax security," the caped and masked representative replied to questioning, "and the mole is not a part of our highly secretive and non-existent elite counterintelligence unit that is not known as 'Operation Infiltrate the ODBA'."

"How is this possible?" asked one reporter. "How is it that Democratic bloggers consistently defeat their Republican counterparts? How do you explain the defeat of the 'A-Team' and 'Bloggers for Sayre' if there is no highly secretive Virginia Democratic organization that coordinates the efforts of Democratic bloggers?"

"It must be luck," replied the masked figure, "because we don't exist and we certainly didn't coordinate any kind of response to the organizations you mentioned that we had nothing to do with defeating because we don't exist." The masked figure paused, "and we certainly didn't coordinate that response during a weekend of highly secretive meetings held at our secret non-existent castle lair over the weekend of August 11-13, 2006."

"Castle Perilous" is not the secret castle lair of the HSVDBA

"Any speculation that there is a highly secretive association dedicated to coordinating messaging among Virginia's Democratic bloggers is irresponsible . . . and probably not true." The masked representative winked and made a strange gesture with the fingers of his left hand, "that's not a secret sign or anything, by the way."

"Will the 'HSVDBA' hold additional press conferences to discuss ongoing developments in Virginia politics?" asked a second reporter.

"No, because the 'HSVDBA' does not exist, we will not be holding any more press conferences, unless of course you receive advanced notice from our press secretary Mindy who, of course, does not exist. Thank you and I look forward to speaking to you in the future."

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