Responding to reports that former Virginia Governor Mark Warner has been selected as the key note speaker for this year's Democratic convention, Gilmore for Senate staffers have revealed that the perennially unsuccessful Republican politician has been chosen for a key role in this year's Republican convention.
"Governor Gilmore will be serving as the men's room attendant this year!" a Gilmore aide gleefully exclaimed.
Gilmore's aides explained that Gilmore's role is key to the success of the Republican convention. "The Governor will be at the center of everything. He'll meet and interact with key power players within the party hierarchy. The sale of toiletries, colognes and prophylactics will also provide an opportunity for fundraising!"
When asked whether Gilmore was jealous about Mark Warner's opportunity to address a national audience during the highly anticipated Democratic convention, Gilmore's aides demurred. "Anyone can give a short speech, but Governor Gilmore is committed to providing hours of service to lobbyists and other important Republican VIPs. These individuals are under a lot of pressure, and knowing that they have a former Governor of Virginia to watch the door will allow them to relax and enjoy their convention experience."
"Whatever happens in Minnesota, stays in Minnesota."